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BE ALL ABOUT YOU: It takes a bit of selfishness to become selfless

In the Philippines where “pakikipag-kapwa tao” is a fundamental virtue, being selfless is endeared and highly regarded, and being self-centered is always frowned upon. However, putting yourself first in most aspects of your life may not necessarily be selfish. Perhaps, making yourself your top priority will open for more opportunities to share yourself to other people.

Taking proper care of ourselves should always be our number one priority, and yet, we often times find ourselves caught up in the middle of a mess trying to make everyone’s lives better but ours.

It is totally fine to be a good, caring person (in fact, the world needs more people like you!) but there’s a difference between caring about others and sharing your time and energy with them, and completely forget about yourself and your own needs.

If you are struggling to find balance between those two things and you want to start taking care of yourself a bit more, here is a quick list on five reasons you need to prioritize yourself right now without feeling selfish about it!

#1: Your stress level will decrease.

Whenever you try to focus on somebody else’s life, it is only natural you worry about them which can lead to you stressing about situations you aren’t even involved in.

When you start to prioritize yourself and your own needs, you instantly become less stressed out, because you only have to worry about YOU. And honestly, worrying about your life, and things you can actually control, is incredibly relieving.

Of course empathy is a good quality, but don’t go it to a point where you feel like there is a need for you to solve other people’s problem. You’re a good person, I know. But don’t you think it’s better when you can maintain your sanity and be able to share a better self to the world. Besides, we all have different paths in this world, maybe that person you are trying to help needs to go through that phase of his/ her life to figure things out and find his own path.

#2: You will have more time for yourself.

How many times have you stopped doing things for yourself that you should’ve done because of others? How many times have you stopped doing things you like to please others?

Yeah, I thought so. I know making time for others is important in order to keep a friendship or personal relationship healthy, but making time for YOU and putting YOUR things first is extremely important, and you shouldn’t feel guilty about it!

There’s nothing wrong with being there for others, but when doing them starts to take up precious, important time, it is time to step back and prioritize your needs. 

#3:  You will be more focused.

Once you realize YOU should always be your very first priority, you immediately start to focus more on your personal goals. It’s as if something switches inside you, and you suddenly have more motivation and focus to really reach your goals, simply because your energy is centered around making yourself happy.

#4: You become more emotionally stable.

Dealing with other people’s feelings and situations can severely mess up yours. However, learning how to put YOUR emotions first, and knowing when you’ve had enough, can significantly improve your emotional stability.

Don’t feel guilty! Prioritizing your feelings, emotions and mental health over anyone should always be your number one concern. Take care of yourself, look after yourself, it is fine, I promise.


It’s quite contradicting. but when you prioritize your needs over other people, you will be happier. And a happy person is always willing to share herself to others. It’s like filling up your tank full first before pouring some to others. You will be drained eventually if you fill somebody else’s tank first.

Self-care can be quite tricky because society has made us believe it is bad to focus on yourself and be your #1 priority, but it isn’t! This is your life, and the most important person in your life should always, no matter what, be YOURSELF! 

Posted in Unsolicited Advice

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