10 Practical Ways to Achieve Self-Love.
Have you ever wondered why it is sometimes a bit difficult to love someone else deeply? Loving can be challenging. We sometimes find ourselves in this mess and all effort to put things in place may prove abortive. It all stems from a saying, “You can’t give what you don’t have”- it is that simple!
Self-love is the ability to embrace who you are, accept you for you, and know that you deserve all the best life has to offer.
Loving yourself is a conscious effort; a habit you must intentionally cultivate. The truth is if you don’t love yourself, others will struggle to love you back. Here are the things I keep in mind to continually improve my self-esteem. I hope you can find them useful, too.
EMBRACE YOUR IMPERFECTION
The first habit to cultivate on the journey to self-love is to accept your imperfections. It is an obvious fact that very few people consider themselves as perfect. Sometimes ‘A’ wishes to be taller, ‘B’ wishes she could have a more perfect body, ‘C’ wants to have the most desirable hips, the list goes endless. Away from physical appearance, most of us wish we could change something we consider as our weakness thereby placing little value on our strengths. Embrace what you cannot change, and accept you for who you are. Celebrate your imperfections. In some ways, these are also the things that push you to become a better person.
FORGIVE AND LET GO OF YOUR UGLY PAST
We all commit errors one way or the other; we have done (so many) things that we were not so proud about. The shadow can hunt us for years until we come out of our shell, find a way to forgive ourselves and others, and let go of our pasts. Sometimes, we struggle to come to term with our past mistakes, we feel we have to subject ourselves to unnecessary punishment and waddle in self-condemnation. This is an enemy of self-love.
No mortal man is infallible. You have to be at peace with your past mistakes. You made a mistake. Congratulations! You are human. Find a way to forgive yourself regardless of the gravity of your deeds and cleanse yourself of every form of guilt. Your past doesn’t define who you are; the past is what it is – past. You can visit it but never dwell on it!
KILL YOUR INNER CRITIC
Do you often feel your best is never good enough? You gave it all your best shot yet you feel unfulfilled and can’t celebrate your seemingly too little achievements? You are not alone. Developing the habit of killing your inner critic will help you love and value your accomplishments (no matter how little they seem to others) rather than having to criticize yourself now and then. A lot of your critics are out there already, don’t add your voice to theirs.
SOAK-UP THE COMPLIMENTS
“Oh common, you don’t really mean it. I know you are merely flattering me.” Sounds familiar? You will know you are struggling with self-love when you find it hard to accept people’s praise of your beauty or ability, or when you berate yourself with insult and downplay that which they complement about you. You are beautiful, you are valuable, and you are worth every good compliment dished out on you. Soak it up!
GO EASY ON YOURSELF
Often, you are too hard on yourself, and lenient with others. You find it easy to overlook other people’s huge shortcomings but struggle to bypass your own little mess. You keep questioning yourself for taking the actions you took and place an unnecessary too high expectation on yourself. Calm down, you are a human too. Save some compassion for yourself as well. You deserve it!
PUT YOURSELF FIRST
Does this sound like being selfish? I bet it is not. It is courtesy to care for the needs of others, the problem lies in prioritizing the needs of others at your own detriment. Do you let people push you around? Do you shut up when you are seriously yearning to speak up? Do you give in when your mind craves for resistance? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then you should know that you need to put yourself first. Stop pleasing someone else at your own expense. It’s not an act of selfishness but a sign of self-love.
[Next post is about how it is important you prioritize yourself. ALWAYS. Subscribe to be updated]
YOUR OPINIONS MATTER
Do you find it hard to do what you want not minding what others feel or think about it? You let others dictate your life and allow them to judge you the way they deem fit? If you do, don’t feel too bad. You can still make a change. Understand that you are the master of your own life and the architect of your future. As such, you can accept other’s genuine constructive opinion but don’t give them the rudder to your life ship. Own it!
CELEBRATE THE UNIQUE YOU
Comparison is a killer to anyone. Most times we are blemished with our basis of comparison; you compare your failure to someone else’s success and compare your weakness to theirs. You are you! Quit trying to be someone else. Imitation of others is always a putting a limitation to all the other wonderful things that you can be. Cultivate the habit of celebrating your uniqueness. If you don’t, there is a little chance that others will.
CHOOSE YOUR COMPANY
An indication to know if you need to develop the habit of self-love is when you allow yourself to be tossed by others. You are not a pushover and as such you have every right to create the company you walk with. Don’t place yourself at the mercy of others. It is not bad to be selective in making friends especially when the purpose is to achieve inner peace. Never be scared of quitting toxic relationships. Mingle with people that get the best out of you and not those who are bent on putting you down always.
COMMIT AND DEVELOP SELF-LOVE
Lastly, developing the habit of self-love is a journey. It takes processes and procedures and unsurprisingly, only the committed eventually get to their love destination. Self-development is also required to attain self-love. Go for courses, attend seminars, invest in books, go shopping, eat the best dinner, and hang out with top people in your career. In short, do whatever makes you happy. You own your life; live it, love it!
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